jj is a door

WAIT! Change my mind, I'm restarting it. Sorta-ish.
BOOM! Nima-per exploded into cosmic ash right before my eyes. I cackled an evil laugh and some of my troopers came carrying Princess Leia. "How could you? You just blew up Nima-per!" she shouted. I laughed, "Yeah, so? Nobody lives on Nima-per anymore, and don't you know so many idiots are using a whole ton of cosmic ash for useless things? We need to get some more by turning some planets into cosmic ash and getting those idiots into a black hole." Princess Leia angrily yelled, "Black hole? You can't toss them into a black hole! Put them into jail, that's bad enough! Why are you so mean to people?" I turned away and said quietly, "We might just toss you into a black hole." A trooper jumped into the conversation, "We can't, miss. She is Princess Leia. If we get rid of her we'll be swarmed by the Democrats!" I looked back and said, "Who cares. We'll rid of them too." The trooper looked down and I said, "Well, we won't get rid of her. We will keep her till somebody gives us some ransom money."

I watched as they tossed Princess Leia into a cell. She said, "You know my mother is coming for you. So is my father, they will be here any minute!" I smiled, "Really Miss Leia? You think your mother, daughter of the first Princess Leia, will save you? You think Queen Ratinata will save you? Puh-lease, my dear! Your father probably won't be able to save you either." Princess Leia sat in the corner and fiddled with her dress. I walked away and walked back to my seat near the front of the ship.
Then a trooper said, "A ship has docked. We asked them not to but they wouldn't listen. We tried, majesty." I angrily said, "Tried? Tried!? I can get rid of them! It must be that stupid Queen and King." I sighed and walked to where the ship docked.
I looked at the King and Queen, dressed in fancy white gowns with real gold crowns and jewelry, then I peered at my purple shirt and dark jeans. King Adam said, "Well, Jacqueline. You sure look old fashioned." I nodded then said, "The twenty-first century was a great time, and a terrible time too. That is why I liked it so much."
"Well, I'm glad you like the twenty-first century."
"Do you?"
"Yes, I do."
"What are you here for?"
The Queen spoke gently, "We know you have our daughter captive, Jacqueline. No fooling us." I laughed, "No fooling? Ha! You two are just two simple Democrats! Being a person in the middle is what I like. I think Democrats and Republicans are plain silly. So, I think you two are the ones who are fooling."
"Us? How could you say that? We are the King and Queen! Do not be disgraceful."
"Selfishness. That's the only thing I see in you two."
"What!? Selfishness!? That's more of you than us!"
~This epic today-future story will be continued maybe tomorrow, or another time~
~jj })i({

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